I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
