its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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