It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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