I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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