I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
