Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
