She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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