we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
