who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I will be naked everywhere
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
