Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
