he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
