I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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