If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
being pregnant is like rehab
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
