went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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