i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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