I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
