He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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