He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just want nice things and good sex
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
