I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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