she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
