we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
