i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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