I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
