I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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