This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Randomize
