sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
