you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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