god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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