Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
