hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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