I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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