Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
