Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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