he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
