thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Alive.
So much puke
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
