You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
