haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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