first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
