don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i now understand why vodka
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
