hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
