Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
