Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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