If i come over, it means nothing
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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