Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
