I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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