so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
