Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
