Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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