So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
