On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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