Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
