Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
