There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
