they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
