awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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