I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My legs feel like baby dolphins
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
His nipple licking is glorious
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