A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize