So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
