I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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