I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
