Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My ass is underappreciated
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
