It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
