You just made me feel so damn special
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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