there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize