But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
