I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I looked at my own cervix.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Use "feeling words"
Yay
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
